There are many things that contribute to the health of one’s relationships, and one of the main things is our thinking. When we consider C.S. Lewis’ recommendation to behave our way into loving others, we have a great footprint. As I speak with many marrieds and listen to what they are thinking about their spouse, it becomes clear very quickly what the pitfalls are in the relationship.
Does this sound familiar? “He/she is so unhelpful when it comes to dealing with the kids or with confrontation.” “It seems I spend all my time taking care of things.” “If he/she would just act interested, I would feel I have something to work with.” The need for partnership is critical in the marriage relationship especially, and when one or both of the partners feels overworked, unappreciated, and therefore unloved and unsupported, we find a recipe for heartache.
As a culture, we seem to be epitomized by stress which goes way beyond busy. Therefore there is something I would like you to commit to memory, “Where my brain goes my body will follow.” So not only do my thoughts dictate how I feel about others, if my thoughts are negative, I may find my body beginning to get sick.
The Bible tells us that laughter is a medicine, and I can tell you from experience it has benefitted me greatly, not to mention my relationship with my husband. Conversely, when I allow myself to be stressed, my thinking can give way to negativity, and then there is no chance I am going to see the best in my husband or anyone else. Mind renewal is the best way to retrain our thinking, and according to Romans 12:2, we are “not to be conformed to this age, but [we are] to be transformed by the renewing of [our] mind, so that [we] may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God” (HCSB).
As you choose to fill your heart and mind with the loving promises of God, may you find a new peace and restoration in your life and relationships.
Relationships at Restoration Ranch 
It is wonderful to find comfort in God’s Word. In addition, we should remember that Jesus gave us a Comforter Friend, the Holy Spirit, to be our Helper and Coach. If we allow the Holy Spirit to do His job, just stop for a second instead of saying the first negative thought that comes to our mind, we would do well. I’ve been married a LONG time and still need help. I have often been dull of hearing, sad to admit. But yesterday I heard, as clear as a bell, “Be kind to him” and caught myself. I was stopped in my tracks; long story short, we had a really nice day together! Kindness goes a long way! PTL!
Thank you Liz, I appreciate your insights and agree wholeheartedly. It is heartening for others when those of us who have been married a long time are still speaking His promises and relying on the Holy Spirit for His guidance. I am blessed that the day with your husband went so well.
Counting it All joy,
Jacquie